


Crazy Love

by lovlessfairy



Category: Johnny's Entertainment, KAT-TUN (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-15
Updated: 2017-04-15
Packaged: 2018-10-19 01:42:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,196
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10629549
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lovlessfairy/pseuds/lovlessfairy
Summary: "Sometimes reality is just too much and we are not brave enough to deal with our truth and secrets face to face. When that happens, a letter will have to do."





	

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this a thousand years ago, but I'm moving my fics from my old LJ account.  
> So here it is, from when the fandom used to be easy and way more romantic.

_Once I promised you I wouldn’t leave you, no matter what I’ll always be there for you, I promised our hearts would be forever bonded… we had our rings to prove it, right?_

_I was young, you know. Selfish and naïve, the worst combination you can imagine, and still, you fell in love with me._

_As a naïve little guy I thought our feelings were all we needed, nothing else mattered as long you were holding my hand, and just like every time I try to think about something, I thought wrong. Love wasn’t all we needed because I forgot there was a whole world waiting for us, ready to eat us alive and take the very best of us._

_I forgot we didn’t live on that secret island we always dreamed. We were in Tokyo, a city full of people, where walls could hear everything and stole memories in a second or two._

_And I was selfish._

_A selfish bastard who didn’t care when he stole your heart and kept it to himself without a returning date. No even a little._

_You could at least say no. but who I’m kidding, I wouldn’t take a “no” for an answer and you knew it._

_Can you blame me? I was blind and drunk with that intoxicating love we had. I couldn’t think clear, no even if I wanted to._

_You know, the first time I saw you I thought “he’s the kind of person I could fall in love with”. And for once in my life I was right. It was so weird the way you looked back then, full of fears and searching for someone to hold on and thank god I was there for you._

_I offered my hand and without hesitation, you took it between your own and never let it go._

_You promised too… never let go of this feeling because you were too afraid that if you did, would feel empty and alone. The two things you feared the most._

_To be honest with you, now I have no idea if you’re still scared of those things. I don’t even know if you had someone else between your hands, and frankly, I don’t want to know._

_But I’m curious about the person you have by your side now. He’s a fool like me or maybe he’s a lot more considerate than I ever was with you? I hope he’s treating you the way you deserve, because you may not think it but you really deserve someone good who makes you feel unique, loved, and most of all… safe._

_Make sure to tell him you don’t like to sleep with the closet doors open and don’t forget to let him know about your little fear of being alone, and please talk to him about your episodes… you know what I’m talking about._

_Don’t be scared, he’ll understand you and no, he will not look at you with crazy eyes. If he’s smart enough, the second you open your mouth to talk he’ll hug you tight and whisper to your ear that everything will be ok. Besides, everybody feels lonely once in a while, just because you have that feeling more often it doesn’t mean it’s wrong, is who you are. That adorable little boy who hides behind a grown up costume, the one who’s fighting darkness and tears every day._

_I wonder if he’s capable of stealing genuine smiles from you, but most of all I want to know if you’re happy. You look fine in the television shows, but god knows you’re a great actor and somehow in all these years, you learned to hide your eyes from the world._

_How did you manage to do it? Tell me the secret because I desperately need to hide my own eyes from you because even when you’re not here I can still feel you with me._

_I guess you kept your promise after all and you know what, I’m glad you did). Even when I realize is just an ethereal presence, is enough to believe you never really left me. It makes me feel a little less lonely._

_Gomme nee for disturbing you with my stupid selfish thoughts, I promise you’ll never hear from me again._

_One more thing… remember always tell him “I love you”._

_It could mean the world if you said that to the right person._

_Jin._

 

It’s been 3 weeks since he sent the letter and still there was no answer, not that he was expecting one, but still… deep inside his heart he still hoped one day a little piece of paper came to his hand saying “I miss you” or something like that.

Four weeks and nothing, not even a phone call.

A month had passed and the letter became a painful memory, another one to his broken heart. And when he was about to give up hope, the doorbell of his house took him out of his misery for a second.

Jin opened the door and couldn’t believe his eyes when he saw Kamenashi Kazuya standing in front of him.

-I think this is yours.

He just blinked, holding his breath against his will.

-here, keep it… I don’t want it.

Another blink and he saw his letter, the one he wrote a month ago and secretly hope had some kind of effect in Kame. Apparently, it was more than a little effect.

-Why? - was the only word that came out of his mouth.

-I told you, I don’t want it.

-Kame…

-How do you dare to write something like this?

-I’m sorry… I thought…

-sure, you thought. You’ve never been very good at that isn’t?

-I’m sorry. I’m sure your boyfriend must be really mad because of me.

-why didn't you told me all this in my face? Why did I have to read it from a letter Jin?

-I didn’t have the courage…

-of course, why didn’t I thought that? Akanishi Jin is always afraid of facing his problems, and what about me? I’m the one who has to clean up your mess; it has always been like this.

-what do you mean?

-just take it… take the damn latter, would you?

Jin did like he was told and tried to hold back the tears. No matter how much it hurts, he’ll never give Kame the pleasure to see him cry.

-I don’t need to tell the person I love about how scared I am of been lonely, or that I don’t like to keep the closets doors open at night, I don’t even have to ask him to understand my episodes… because he already knows all that.

-I'm sorry…

-ah! And one more thing… if I tell you “I love you” it would mean the world to you?

Jin was speechless.

-if I tell you “I love you” would you take my hand between yours and protect me from the walls of Tokyo?

Kame never had an answer to the last question, instead, he got a deep and desperate kiss. The one he knew will remember forever.

-I’ll take that as a yes…- he said with a genuine smile on his face


End file.
